


I want you, I want me, I want peace.

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-08 03:16:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1924656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel starts learning about the internet. Dean finds him listening to music that he deems ridiculous, until Cas explains each song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I want you, I want me, I want peace.

This was beginning to grow annoying for both Sam and Dean. They loved Cas, sure. They were eager to help him transition from angel of the Lord to a messy haired, breakable human in anyway they could. Sam took him to buy new clothes. Dean taught him how to pace himself while drinking. Sam showed him proper grooming habits. Dean taught him about bacon. It was working out fine until the ex-angel saw Sam surfing the internet, and became fascinated.

"You have an unlimited source of education at your fingers." Cas had said with a smile. "Yet you send all of your time acting like barbarians, fighting with each other and creating wars. How odd."

Dean growled. "Well, you are one of the barbarians now so watch your traitorous tongue!"

Sam stepped in before an all out brawl started, which was fairly common when Dean was irritated. He let Cas use his lap top after some very careful instructions. "Don't break it, okay?" Sam added nervously before grabbing a book.

If they knew what would come over Castiel's new discovery they would have found a way to exorcise Google and send it back to whatever interweb hell it came from. At first Cas looked up things about religion and science, all of which he already knew about, but he was curious to see what information humans had.

Then he found YouTube. The almighty ex-angel spent the next three weeks watching cat videos. He cooed and giggled in his raspy voice every time he found a new one. Dean suggested kicking Cas out but Sam didn't think it was to that extreme just yet. But today they were at their boiling point. Cas had watched the same twenty minute video on repeat for three hours, and he refused to use headphones because they hurt his ears.

"I'm going to the library." Sam declared, slamming his book shut.

Dean whined. "Don't leave me alone with it."

Castiel looked up, shooting them a pouty expression. Sam clasped Dean on the back, eyes narrowing. "Fix this or Cas is sleeping outside."

Dean sighed and nodded watching his brother disappear. After a moment he stood up, snatching the lap top from Cas, who made a grab at it and failed spectacularly. "Dude," Dean began seriously. "No more cat videos. I can't handle it. I already hate those fucking furry bastards. There's other stuff on here. Vlogs, music videos - find something else! Anything else!'

Cas frowned deeply. "But I like cat videos."

"And I like naked women. Doesn't mean you guys want to see them walking around the bunker all day, right? Especially the same one for hours at a time." Dean added looking mildly disturbed.

"I see your point." Cas agreed with a nod. "I'll broaden my searches."

Dean nodded and walked to his room. He stopped suddenly, making sure to say, "Dog videos don't count as broadening, kapeesh?'

Cas sighed. "Yes, Dean."

Twenty minutes later Dean stumbled into the kitchen for more beer. He heard music playing lowly and followed the sound, interested to find out what type of music his angel liked. A man's voice filled the room, a bit on the high pitched side. From the sound of it, Cas was listening to a chick song. 

"What the hell is this?" Dean asked in obvious disappointment.

Cas glanced up. "Not cats, I assure you."

Dean glanced at the computer screen. "Sam Smith- Stay With Me?" He read aloud, lips twisting in disgust. "Dude, we need to get some Zepplin in here. I feel like such a failure."

"It's a good song, Dean. I like it very much. His voice is full of passion and -"

"Chick bullshit." Dean finished. "Come on this is a song for girls who just got their first period."

A very small smile formed on Castiel's lips as he said, "It reminds me of you."

If Dean had been drinking something he surely would have spat it on the back of Castiel's head. "You want me to stay with you?"

"Hmm?" Cas asked, cocking an eyebrow in confusion. "It reminds me of you and your past - relationships."

"My hook ups, ya mean?" Dean corrected, telling himself the disappointment in his belly was from Castiel's musical choices.

Cas shrugged, "Basically."

Dean let out something that sounded like a "hmph" and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed a few beers, taking them back to his room and falling down on his bed. Grudgingly he pulled out his cell, grateful that he replaced his old flip phone. He got the dumb song on, popped open a beer and listened.

 _Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand_ ,  
 _But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man_.  
 _These nights never seem to go to plan_ ,  
 _I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?_

 _Oh, won't you stay with me?_  
 _'Cause you're all I need_ ,  
 _This ain't love it's clear to see_ ,  
 _But darling, stay with me_

 _Why am I so emotional?_  
 _No it's not a good look, gain some self control_ ,  
 _And deep down I know this never works_ ,  
 _But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt._

Dean clicked off the song feeling a bit frustrated by the emotions swimming through his stomach. Cas was right. So many times he had bed a woman just to get through some type of physical or emotional pain. He knew it wasn't serious, and half the time the woman didn't even know his name, but he needed that connection. Needed to feel skin against his own.

He sighed, flipping over on his bed deciding to take a nap. They had nothing going on right now, so why shouldn't he enjoy a nice cat nap? Cat. He growled at himself for even thinking the fucking word. He then wondered what Cas was doing, and if he had stumbled onto another song, hopefully one with long, strung out guitar solos. He groaned as he rolled off his bed and into the living room where Cas still sat behind the computer. A new song filled the air. It was some wannabe punk, whiny bullshit.

"Caaaas." Dean groaned. "What is this?"

"It's by a group of people named Say Anything. The song is called Joel on Other Planets. I found it playing on the GhostFacers website." Cas told him matter-of-factly.

Dean opened his mouth to ask Cas why the fuck he was on those douches site, but then closed it deciding he didn't want to know the answer. "It sounds like shit."

"It reminds me of you and Sam."

"Pssh, I'm not buying that. Maybe the last one - a bit. But not this. Start it over." Dean demanded.

Cas did as he was told. The song filled the air around them.

  
_I may not be the best brother,_   
_But I try to teach him pride,_   
_I hide my paraphernalia when he climbs into my ride._   


Dean smirked. Yeah, he actually did that once when Sam was thirteen.

_I watch him watching my actions,_  
 _With those beautiful brown eyes,_  
 _I will be glad to pass the torch to him the day I up and die,_  
 _Cause he's a better man than I._

_Pray for love on other planets,_  
 _We can't be the only ones who have it,_  
 _Pray for love on other planets,_  
 _This ones going down._  


"Touche angel, touche." Dean said with a small nod.

"I'm not an angel anymore, Dean." Cas reminded him sadly.

Dean put his hands on Castiel's shoulders, briefly focusing on the tight muscles. He bent down lowly so he was inches from his ear. "Don't worry, Cas. You'll always me my angel."

Cas stared up at him in obvious shock. Those bright blue eyes caught him, drawing him in as they had done many times. Like usual he stared back until common sense finally reappeared in his noggin'. _Oh nice to see you have returned,_ Dean thought as he took his hands off Cas and half ran for his room.

"Dean!" Cas called after him.

Dean turned around slowly, dreading the words that were about to fall off Castiel's plush lips. "Sup Cas?"

"I have another for you to listen to. It's called Anything Like Me by Brad Paisley. It reminds me of you and Bobby."

Dean looked horrified. "Country? You're listening to the new age, wanna be cow boy bullshit, now? I swear to God, next time we're in Baby I'm going to teach you about real music."

Cas nodded and smiled at the same time. "I would like that, Dean."

Dean grumbled and headed back to his room pissed off that the ex-angel didn't realize he was trying to insult him. Stupid, naive, adorably innocent prick. He threw himself on his bed, phone out within seconds. He typed in the song quickly, leaning back to listen. The first few lyrics told them it was a father-son type song, and he was just about to roll his eyes and click off when he heard:

  
_He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike too fast,_  
 _End up every summer wearing something in a cast,_  
 _He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass in a window down the street._

_He's gonna get in trouble, oh he's gonna get in fights,_  
 _I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep._

_It's safe to say that_  
 _I'm gonna get my pay back_  
 _If he's anything like me._  


Dean was absolutely furious with himself and the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes lids. He blinked them away quickly, sighing lowly. Yeah, this was a Bobby song. Maybe a little bit of John but mostly that old drunk fool that raised him. He missed him more than he could put into words, but Bobby was safe in Heaven and finally with his wife. However, if he ever found a way to bring him back, he would pull that bastard back home with a glass of whiskey waiting on him.

Dean couldn't take anymore of Castiel's fucking songs. His luck he would find something about a mother dying on a ceiling. Okay, that was kind of fucked up to even think. He put his beer down and threw his covers lazily over his body and forced himself to drift off.

It was Sam's voice that woke him up some hours later. "Got stuff for dinner. Gonna make some burgers."

Dean nodded and said, "Bacon."

Sam snorted and left the room leaving Dean to stand up and stretch. His back cracked in about a dozen different places. He dragged his feet into their living room, throwing himself on the couch next to Castiel, who was wearing large headphones. He cocked an eyebrow at him and Cas shouted. "Sam bought these for me! They are much more comfortable!"

Dean tugged the headphones away from the messy black hair. "You don't have to scream. Right here, Cas. What craptasticness are you listening to now?"

Castiel stared down at his legs, a blush forming along his cheeks. "Nothing in particular."

Dean snatched the lap top from him. "Give me that! What is this shit? O.A.R? How about AC DC?"

"Their songs are nice. This once is...my favorite. It's remind me of you. You and me." Cas added so quietly that Dean had to lean into hear him.

From the kitchen Sam yelled, "Cas, can you help me? I'd ask Dean but you know how he likes to take control."

"'Cause I'm a better cook!" Dean retorted instantly, taking the headphones.

Cas scurried away to help Sam and Dean restarted the song. It was some bull crap about slamming doors and not wanting to fight, and Dean wondered briefly if this was about the cat videos then the chorus filled his ears.

_I just wanna make you laugh,_  
 _I just wanna see that smile,_  
 _Babe, we’re only here, oh, for a little while,_  
 _I just wanna hold you till we fall asleep,_  
 _I want love,_  
 _I want us,_  
 _I want you,_  
 _I want me,_  
 _I want peace._  
  
 _Everybody needs a place,_  
 _Somewhere that’s warm and safe,_  
 _A shelter from this crazy world we’re in,_  
 _But tonight I let the rain inside,_  
 _And took away your place to hide,_  
 _I’m sorry that I made you cry again,_  
  
 _Oh, we can make this right,_  
 _Oh, kiss me good night._

Dean's chest grew tighter and tighter to the point that he felt rooted into the couch. Was he breathing? Yeah, but just barely. What the fuck did this mean? He replayed the song again as if he could decipher another message other than the very obvious one.

He wasn't sure how many times he replayed the song, but eventually Sam was shaking his shoulder. Dean took the head phones off slowly, barely hearing Sam when he said, "Dinner is done. Greasey and covered in bacon just like you like."

Dean put down the lap top, following Sam into the kitchen. His eyes locked briefly into the angel's. Cas looked absolutely terrified, especially when Dean looked away from him and sat down. The dinner that followed was silent, despite Sam's ridiculous efforts to break through the ice. Eventually he tired of trying, and headed to his own room. Dean quickly followed, unable to stay in the same room with Cas. He laid on his bed for several hours, barely blinking while his chest rose and fell much quicker than usual. The most confusing thoughts swirled through his head. Thoughts he was usually able to lock up in the "don't fucking think about it" chest with Rhonda Hurley's underwear.

His bladder was the only thing that was able to get him out of his room. He carefully walked to the bathroom making sure to avoid any beautiful, blue eyed ex-angelic warriors. He quickly did his business and started heading down the dark hallway to his room. Out of nowhere Cas rounded the corner, looking tired. When he saw Dean he froze, staring at him with that soul searching look. Dean went to push passed him but as soon as he was in touching distance, his hands betrayed him and he was wrapping them around Castiel's waist pushing him against the wall. Cas let out a surprised yelp, staring up at the hunter with wide eyes. Dean thought about pushing away then. He could run to his room, hide under his covers, spend the night alone or...

"I want those things too." Dean told him watching shock register in his angel's eyes. With that he leaned forward, pressing him lips against Castiel's. His mouth was warm and inviting, and Dean cursed himself for not doing this every day for the past five years.

After recovering from the initial shock, Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, one hair running through his brown hair. They stayed like this for a long time, melting into each other. Cas had to be the one to break away, because Dean sure as hell wasn't letting this moment go.

"Dean, I love you." he whispered, staring into his favorite green eyes with intensity. "I've been with two people now, but I've never felt this way about anyone besides you. I know this may seem sudden but for five years I've thought of little e-"

Dean cut him off with another kiss. When he pulled away, he was smiling. "I love you too, Cas."

Cas looked relieved and over joyed all at once. "Good, Dean. I don't know what I would do without you."

"For starters, you wouldn't have anyone to teach you about classic rock." Dean joked softly. "Why don't we go to my room, and I'll show you exactly what you've been missing out on."

Even in the dark, Dean could make off the blush forming on Castiel's cheeks as he took in the double meaning of that sentence. Dean wrapped his hand around Castiel's thinking how lucky he was to have a little slice of Heaven right there with him.

 

 


End file.
